Wednesday night, after saying goodnight to Brian and the kids, I skipped up onto my front porch to tidy up the porch chairs and table – they seemed a little “out of balance!” (Wow – that is the pot calling the kettle black!) As I stepped up onto the porch and moved toward the chairs, I was startled by this little bird sitting on the railing. I was shocked, surprised, and gave a little squeal! It was dark outside and I never expected to see a bird on my porch! She just sat there and did not move. Yes, I am calling her a she because she was dainty and pretty and calm! Okay – now I am living vicariously through this little bird! 🙂 For the record, I did not name her…yet! Anyway, I walked all around her, talked to her and finally ran in the house to grab my camera. I half expected her to be gone when I came out. Low and behold, she was still there! I proceeded to take a million pictures. She looked a little tattered around the edges, but remained calm and strong. I even sat on the porch for a spell, trying to get her story out of her. She was not going to talk.
Well, I finally decided to let her be and went inside. Of course, like a kid in a candy store, I continued to run to the window to see if she was still there. I even brought the cat to the window thinking she might be excited to see a bird right there… not so much! I was up much later in the night and yes, I looked out the window to see…. and yes, she had left my porch.
In the morning, I went outside to water plants and to my shock, surprise, and excitement… there she was! This time she was sitting on the back of my chair and… pooping! Okay – I did not like that so much! I went inside to get my camera and when I returned, she had flown away. Shortly after that, I noticed her in the neighbors yard – staying low. She seemed to be having trouble flying. By now I am really feeling badly for her and want to help. I even wonder if she will make it through the day. She suddenly seemed not so strong and very vulnerable.
So, that brings me to this morning (Friday). I am sitting on my porch, enjoying the cloudy sky, my coffee, and a new book. I decided to get out my camera and shoot more flower pictures, along with the robins that are hunting for worms in my freshly watered grass. I glance over into my tree and who do I see, but my little friend nestled in the branches – dainty, pretty, and calm – just like the other night. Once again, she let me do a photo shoot and seemed comfortable. But then suddenly, she decided that she had had enough and “flew” off to a neighbors bush. I have not seen her since
So, this brings me to the thoughts and reflections that have been rattling through my minds. Well, actually I only have “one mind!” My little friend “appeared” to be strong, calm, and in control. I wondered if that was truly the case. What things appear to be on the outside are not always what is happening on the inside. I wonder how many of us have had times in our lives where people thought we were “Big Brave Birds” when the reality was that inside we were feeling weak and vulnerable? I have felt that a few times in my life. The old adage, “never judge a book by its cover” comes to mind, in an odd way. Also, I don’t want people to know that I am vulnerable and weak, so I present myself as calm and in control. Okay- calm is debatable! I believe that we all need to have a circle of friends in our lives that we are able to let down the “Big Brave Bird” facade with, and allow ourselves to be vulnerable and transparent. Keeping up the “Big Brave Bird” image is tiring – both emotionaly and physically. We need to be able to talk and know each other’s story and then be able to encourage each other through those times when we are flying low and unsteady. So, what’s your “Big Brave Bird” story?
One thought on “Big Brave Bird…”
Wow Jenny! This post really hit home. I finally was able to get onto your blog (today). I'd gotten the wrong html and wasn't "bright" enough to figure out why I couldn't get on. Any hoo… All of your blogs…though I've only gotten this far…thus far> 🙂 , have touched me, but this one especially. I feel like most of my adult life I've had the "big, brave bird thing" going on. I've put on the "front" for other people while I've "pressed into" our Heavenly Father, as He's supported and helped me through. And yes…you know what, I've come to a place where I "lean on" and "rely on" Him even in good times. It's so important to me to never forget "where I've been" because it helps me to "praise" in good times, and to "keep the faith" in bad times. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself in your blogs, and allowing others to look deeper into themselves! Anna