Are You In or Out?

Our message at church today was about what to do when the flames of romance are not so hot.  Oh, how we love when the romance is high and we are connected to our spouse or partner!  All seems right with the world and we’d rather be nowhere else but with them!  Unfortunately, it does not last.  Life gets in the way and things happen that douse those flames.  How we choose to respond is key.  Do we get angry and bitter because it is no longer all about us?  Do we let the little things build up and become big things?  Do we lose hope that we will never again connect with them?   I’ll admit that I’ve had those feelings a time or two… or three!

A friend recently shared a post on FB about “staying in the room.”  What do we do in those times when our loved one is not really very loveable or we are not feeling very loveable?  Those times when we would rather run to a greener pasture.  Those moments when we do not agree with them and life seems at a stand still.  When loving them seems near impossible.  When our fundamental belief system is being challenged.  When the rose colored glasses we have a prescription for are no longer rose colored.  Do we stay in the room anyway – possibly in the opposite corner, maybe even turned away?  Or do we walk out of the room and give up?  Is our love covenant love or is it conditional love?  Do we choose to stay and weather the storm or do we change our location to find something better and more comfortable?

I’ve been in the room when the one I loved decided not to stay.  Thankfully, my heavenly Papa chose to stay.  I’m eternally grateful that He loves me so much that he chose to stay in the room and walk me through the difficult times.  When things get tough and the grass seems greener somewhere else, choose to stay in the room and work through the struggle.  I absolutely love that visual.  Today’s message just confirmed that for me.  I am to stay in the room, spend time investing more in the other person, be open to working through the struggle and disillusionment, and be open on the other side for the joy and romance to once again return!  So, next time that flame seems dim… are you in or out?