I Should Be…

Tuesday afternoon… summer… pouring rain… vacation… laundry… hidden messes…

I’m sitting at my kitchen table watching the birds work tirelessly to get their babies to come out of the nest. It’s pouring rain outside. I have the windows and door open so I can hear it. The sun is trying to peak out amidst the rainfall.

I’ve started laundry… two loads washed, the first waiting to be folded. I hate folding laundry. The other two piles are waiting patiently to go into the washer. “Housekeeping???”

A few hours ago I allowed myself a bit of time to read. People always say that a rainy day is the best time to stay indoors, curl up under a blanket and read. I tried that. The neighbors out smoking on their porch were talking loudly with the F-bomb flying… oh, I love renters. The laundry piles were calling my name from the kitchen floor where they were all neatly sorted. The cat found her spot on my lap. After reading a few pages, my eyelids became heavy. My reading now became a nap.

When I awoke suddenly to the garbage truck driving by, I was startled. It’s that moment when you have to think about where you are. I don’t take naps. It was a strange feeling.

Quickly, my mind went into guilt mode. “I should be doing…” I should be doing what? For the past 10 months I’ve spent every day “doing” for everyone else. Now I get to do for me! I MUST get over the feeling that it’s not okay to take care of me.

Last weekend, after a long day of working alongside my husband on a house project, he decided to take advantage of the last hour of sunlight. He grabbed a lawn chair and laid out in the sun… relaxing. He rarely does this, so it surprised me. I joined him and was good for about 3 minutes. I was up and down, checking this and that… And he just soaked up the sun.

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So what is the secret? How do you let yourself relax and take time? I’ve got to figure it out. Life is too ding darn short and seems to be going faster and faster the older I get! I’ve got 7 weeks to rest, relax, rejuvenate, and get a million house projects done! Ahhhh, summer vacation!!!

Ready? GO!!!!

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