Creative Eclectic · Gifts · Grace · Hope · Lessons Learned · Prayers · Questions to Ponder · Seasons · The Journey

Until Now…

Where to begin? I love to write! Writing is my escape. I communicate best in words on paper. I’ve blogged for six years. I never seem to be at a loss for words. Until now…

My recent participation at a Christian Writers Conference opened up new doors of adventure… and challenge… and excitement. Until I came home…

Several times I’ve sat down to write. I’ve got nothin’. It’s as if writing has never been a passion or a gift. What is causing this block? Why am I suddenly dry? I long to take advantage of the information gathered at the conference and play off of the excitement of the other writers with whom I spent two days.

Today as I was editing photographs from yesterday’s shoot, it hit me. God kicked my writing up a notch and invited others into my writing world.

Blogging involves other people, but they are not present. I write and it goes out into the cyber world. After posting I never really know if anyone reads the words I’ve poured out on the page. Occasionally I get a comment, but it’s always encouraging words regarding the content of my piece. No one critiques my writing. There is a measure of safety. Until now…

My new writing adventure involves a small group of women gathering once a month for a “writers group.” It involves sending writing out a week ahead so each one can read my piece and critique it. Then we will gather and share our critiques. Today I’m wondering what I’ve gotten myself in to.

I’m a pretty transparent person; wearing my heart on my shirt sleeve. Why am I nervous about letting others read my writing and give feedback? I’m not writing a book. I don’t have a manuscript I’ve been working on. I have some blog entries. That’s it. Suddenly I feel like I’ve got to write something with more depth and a greater vision. I’ve always considered myself a fairly good writer. Until now…

How ironic that my first piece to submit to the group is about how insecure I feel as I embark on this new journey. Fear and trepidation are looming. That little voice in my head is saying to run and never look back. Pursue other passions. Leave the writing to those called to be real authors.

I have no idea where this new adventure will lead me. I’m determined to not let my insecurity and fear win. I’m hopeful that I will be stretched…and challenged…and encouraged. I’m excited to begin to fashion a vision greater than my blog and see it grow into something bigger that I could ever imagine; for I’ve never really had one. Until now…

Grace · Healing · Hope · Lessons Learned · life happens... · Prayers · Questions to Ponder · Seasons · Struggles · The Journey

A Raging River…

Do you ever wish you could rewind time and have a do-over in a conversation or meeting?  Say something again with less emotion behind it?  Not have the conversation at all?  Take the high road instead of the rocky path you chose to walk on for that quick instance?

… me too

I learned a lesson yesterday.

I lost my God focus and let the tumultuous, crazy world around me seep into my soul.  I let my busy week get the best of me and gradually by the end my early morning quiet time was a rushed frenzy to get out the door.  I took it upon myself to care for the stresses of the week and let God take a break.  So noble of me.  I’m not even sure I stopped to pray yesterday morning.  That is how crazy my week ended.

The culminating event was awesome!  I spoke out at a meeting in a heated emotional way.  While what I shared was reality and needed to be shared, the way in which I delivered my message was wrong.  I know I hurt or offended a few people.  In that moment it became not about the actual topic, but more of an emotion airing so to speak.  Not my finest moment.

It’s spring in Spokane and the river is running high.  As I photographed the raging river a few hours later it hit me.  We are all feeling like a raging river… struggling to keep our heads above water and survive.  We are all going to bat for those we love to do the same.

IMG_4594 IMG_4600 IMG_4602 IMG_4603 IMG_4598My realization has gone deeper.  I’m not just feeling this on a professional level.  I’m feeling it in all corners of my life… as are so many others.  The waters are raging around us in regards to not only our professions but our health, our marriages, our relationships, our finances, our spiritual lives… the list goes on.  It’s daunting and overwhelming when I think about it and begin to pray for my own life and that of those around me.  In my family alone we have a loved one battling breast cancer and another living out her first year of marriage missing her recently deployed husband.

The waters are also raging across our globe.  370 families are awaiting the news of what really happened to their loved ones lost on a Boeing 777 flight.  Russia and the Ukraine are about to go to war.  Our troops are trying to tie up loose ends of a war going on far too long.

The waters are raging around us all in some form or fashion.

Stop… breathe… refocus.

While the waters may roar around us, we have a place of refuge to rest and regroup.

Grace. God extends His epic grace on us continually and sometimes we are so caught up in the wild waters around us that we don’t even notice.

No one chases grace… but grace chases everyone. ( words shared by a friend this morning)

Spring brings high waters and raging rivers, but it also brings the end to winter and a beginning to new life.  Are we able to stop long enough to see past the raging river and see the new life around us?

IMG_9019 IMG_9020 IMG_9030My prayer for everyone who feels as if life is spinning out of control would be that we can all stop…receive His grace available… begin to breathe in the new life of spring and all that it has to offer.  The waters will continue to rage around us.  It’s how we let it affect us that matters.  Do we choose to jump into the swell and work to keep our head about water or do we watch the raging river from afar and rest in His promises?

I know what I’m choosing…

 

Grace · Healing · Hope · Lessons Learned · Prayers · Questions to Ponder · Random Saturday · Seasons · Struggles · The Journey

Lion or Lamb

First day of March and it’s cold cold cold! We are under the blanket of a Polar Vortex. Low temperatures and high winds which will bring below zero temperatures. Big snowfall coming in tomorrow! Then rain. It’s happening all over the country.

March – in like a lion, out like a lamb.

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The month is starting out stormy and cold and fierce. According to the old saying, that means it will go out peacefully and gentle… maybe warm.

Today I’m reminded about life and how it parallels this old saying. God does not promise us that life will be easy. There will be storms. There will be lions in our life. Fierce times where hardships and battles roar around us. At times it will feel as if there may be no end. When will the gentle lamb come in and breathe grace and relief over us?

“For I know the plans I am planning for you,’ declares The Lord, ‘plans of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and an expectancy.” em> Jeremiah 29:11

Those words encourage me on this blustery day. I patiently await those plans that He is has for me as I give Him my whole-self each day – lions and all.

This cold wintery weather seems to be mirroring the start of 2014 – full of roaring lions. My hope rests in the coming of the lamb and gentler days… healing days… restoration… renewed hope. Spring.

“Then you shall call on Me, and shall come to Me, and I shall listen to you. And you shall seek Me, and shall find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29: 12-13

Gifts · Grace · Hope · Lessons Learned · life happens... · Questions to Ponder · Seasons · Struggles · The Journey · Uncategorized

Boldness…

I have chosen words to describe the kind of year I want 2014 to be.  One of those words is boldness.  Boldness is defined as the trait of being willing to undertake things that involve risk or danger.

Application to my life would include risk more than danger.  I tend to be one that does not take risks, especially when I am alone.  I rarely do things alone.  I’ve only eaten in a restaurant alone one time. It was a matter of eat alone or starve.  I’ve never gone to a movie alone.  I was well into my 30’s before I would go to the mall alone.  To this day is it not my favorite thing to do.  I’ve never gotten in my car and gone for a drive to explore… alone.  I’m not known for being adventurous.  At the age of 30 I was forced to live alone for the first time.  That was a huge adjustment.

Bottom line… I’m not a very big risk taker.  I think about things I’d like to do and then never end up doing them.  This past year I figured out that thinking about doing something is not the same as actually doing it.  I have a small list of regrets of things I did not do during my 20 years in CA.  I thought about them, but never acted on them.

So this brings me to last Friday.  For the past 8 weeks, I have wanted to head to Gonzaga University campus to photograph the amazingly beautiful St. Al’s Catholic Church.  One Monday evening on my way home, I was crying out to God about some difficult things we were going through.  I was praying for peace and answers and comfort.  As I turned the corner onto Mission, there off to my right were these two crosses lit up and beautiful.  They were atop steeples.  I had never seen them… and this is a route I take to and from work. Immediately, I felt a peace fall over me.  It’s as if God put them up there just for me… and just the right moment.

Several days later I was driving the same route just as the sun was going down.  As I turned the same corner, the two crosses were gleaming in the setting sunlight.  It was breath-taking.  My first thought was that I needed to photograph those crosses atop the church.  Unfortunately, I was heading to an appointment and was not able to stop.  I promised myself that I’d take my good camera and photograph them at sunset.

I spent the next few weeks thinking about it as I passed them each day.  I even made several attempts to get there in the afternoon setting sun, but something always came up.  While I wanted to do this in the worst way, my lack of boldness to step out into an adventure on my own got in the way.

Last Friday I was heading home after an appointment and had a bit of extra time.  As I was driving down Mission I suddenly had a very strong urge to just do it!  I turned around, made my way to the campus and found a parking spot.  Out into the chilly wind I went with my iPhone!  No fancy camera, just my trusty phone.  This whole adventure took about 5 minutes!  There was only so much I could do with my iPhone.

The conditions were not exactly as I’d hoped.  The sky was cloudy.  It was 11:00 AM, not sunset.  I did not have my good camera.

IMG_4245 IMG_4244 IMG_4243 IMG_4242 IMG_4241 IMG_4240IMG_4246But alas, I’d followed through with something that I’d longed to do!  While this was really just a baby step, it was huge!  It was bold for me to venture out on my own.  Like I said… baby steps.  Now I know I can do this all by myself!  Alright… stop laughing!  Everyone has to start out small!  It’s rather a challenge to myself now to do something a little more daring!

Too much of life is passing me by as I sit back in my safe world… not taking risks.

Since my little (and I emphasize little) outing on Friday, I’ve been thinking about other areas of my life that lack boldness.

It does not seem to be too much of an issue in my professional life.  I step out and do things with nary a thought.

Lately, I’ve been asking God for more boldness in my faith.  If I can step out and confidently share my professional knowledge with people, why can’t I share my heart for Jesus with people.

I’ve also boldly been asking God to change me… use me… break my heart for things that breaks His.  Boldly.  With a passion I’ve never had before.  To speak boldly into lives of those around me.

I’m not sure where this sudden urge to walk and talk and live in a boldness like never before has come from.  Perhaps He’s preparing me for something that is going to require me to be very bold… to act in boldness.  Maybe something where my boldness is key to my survival.  I really don’t know.

What I do know is that this boldness is new and empowering.  I’m excited for the coming days, weeks and months.  I’m looking forward to the places my new found boldness will take me.

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Gifts · Grace · Healing · Hope · Lessons Learned · Prayers · Questions to Ponder · Seasons · Struggles · The Journey · Uncategorized

A Clean Slate…

Do you remember as a child getting a new coloring book and maybe even new crayons?  The excitement when you opened that brand new book that had not one bit of coloring in it!  It was all yours and you got to fill it with color and design!  And doing that with new crayons made it even better!

Do you remember getting your brand new workbook in elementary school?  No one else had written a word in it.  It was all yours.  You got to fill it with your wisdom and knowledge and new learning.

Do you remember getting a new journal?  Maybe it was leather bound or had a nice calming picture on the front of it.  Pages and pages of empty lines just waiting for you to pour out your heart.  Now this was the perfect journal in terms of how it lays open and how the pages felt when you turned them. And the lines.  Were they wide or college rule?  Or maybe there were no lines at all and you were going to do more than just write.  Maybe this one would include drawings and things glued in.

Do you remember?

Do you remember past new years where you’ve thought about the brand new year ahead?

You knew what you wanted and you had a plan for the days ahead. You may have had a say in where you were and your state of affairs as you began this new time.  Much like picking out the best journal or coloring book.  You had a fresh box of crayons with many colors.

Or you may not have been given a choice as to where you were and the state of your life.  It was like being handed a gift and you had no idea what is inside.  You may or may not have liked the journal cover or the lack of lines.  You may not have liked the theme of the coloring book.  Your crayons might have be old and dull and broken.  You were handed something that was not what you’d planned on.

I’ve recently read several authors talk about the new year being like a clean slate or a clean sheet of paper on which we can begin to draw. I love that visual. How true this is.

But there is a difficult side to this.

What if my clean slate is an old beat up chalkboard that hasn’t been cleaned very well over the years?  You know, the edges are chipped, the chalk just smears.  Oh, you can clear the surface to write something new, but the imprint of all the past writing is still there, smudged in the background. And the chalk.  The chalk is in small little chunks that are difficult to write with and there is only yellow.

The ideal would be a brand new white dry erase board!  Shiny with smooth edges.  Maybe even magnetic so you can add things other than writing!  And alongside your beautiful new white board is a clean little eraser and a variety of colored dry erase markers. It’s perfect!  The possibilities are endless!

Who wouldn’t want the new clean slate to start the brand new year?  Do we always have a choice?  A say in what we get?

I believe that more often than not, we are not given a choice.  Life happens and we could end up with either.  How we choose to use what we are given is up to us.  How we choose to live out the next year is up to us.  If we intentionally make choices that would help us end up with a cleaner, newer, shinier slate next year, then go for it!  Make those choices.  I’m convincing myself of this as I type!

Put the coffee with peppermint mocha creamer down and get on the floor and stretch these tired old muscles.  Put on your walking shoes today and get out in the fresh air and walk instead of using this day as an excuse to lay around and eat bad food!

Begin the devotional reading that is dated January 1.  Don’t wait until tomorrow because today is “a holiday.”  Tomorrow will turn into another tomorrow and we know how that ends up.

Begin today to fill your empty slate (no matter the starting condition) with things that will honor yourself and God.  Color with every color possible!  Journal your hearts deepest desires and dreams!  Fill your workbook with new learning and fresh knowledge.

I didn’t make a formal list this year.  I have a vision for the year and what I would like it to look like.  How I would like it to play out so that my slate might be that new shiny one with lots of colors and choices!

What is your vision for the coming year?  While we don’t have total control over what happens, it helps to have a basic trip tic in mind.  I don’t want the enemy to think for even a second he has a say in where my year is headed.

I know there will be struggles and hurdles.  I also know that there will be much beauty and growth and love.  I’m vowing to keep my eye on God and all things connected to Him.  My vision for the year includes keeping His Word close by.  I’m not committing to reading the bible in a year.  That will fall short before January is half over! But His word will be by my side and filling my heart and mind as much as possible.  I want that truth to be the first thing I turn to when a hurdle pops up in front of me.

I’m loosening the reigns on my resolutions this year.  I’m excited to see what unfolds.  In the meantime, I get to color and write and create and work and love and live and breathe for another day… today, January 1, 2014.

Happy New  Year and may God bless us all!

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Gifts · Grace · Healing · Hope · Lessons Learned · life happens... · Prayers · Seasons · Struggles · The Journey · Uncategorized

Oh, What A Year!

Oh what a year!  Some good… some bad… some ugly… some beautiful!  Here’s my take away from 2013…

1.  The beginning of a new calendar year does not mean the tough things from the previous year are done and over.  It’s truly just another day on the calendar. What changes is how I choose to face the day and the journey in front of me.

2.  Perseverating on pet peeves only leads to more pet peeves.  (This plays out before me daily on my drive home from work!)

3.  Depression is about what happened yesterday… and yesterday is over.  Anxiety is worrying about tomorrow… and tomorrow is not here yet.

4.  Seize the moment… live now… be thankful always and find joy in what I am doing. (Yes, even in the domestic chores!)

5.  Taking good care of myself is key to my health and well-being.  This must be a priority. I learned the hard way.

6.  Age is just a number… it’s my state of mind that really determines how young or old I feel.

7.  Thinking about doing something is not the same as actually doing it.

8.  Pursue my passions… no one else can do it for me.

9.  Learn to say no… and my “yes” will mean more.

10. Speak truth cradled by grace…always.

“My hope is that you will take from 2013 only that which will make you a better, stronger and happier person and leave the rest.” (Lisa Gregory – post on FB)

It’s so easy to drag the luggage from one year into the next… sometimes that’s easier.  It’s familiar.  It’s comfortable.  It’s miserable.

While each year is 365 days, they seem to be passing more quickly.  Wasn’t it just December 31, 2012?  In the blink of an eye the year has come and gone.

It’s been a year of love, loss, laughter, struggle, passion, death, remembrance, illness, health, healing, Jesus, hard work, tears, growth, pain, relationship, change, honesty, secrets, family, friends…

While tomorrow is just another day, it’s a day that can be a bend in the road… a fork in the road… a new path to take… a continuation of our current journey… a brand new journey.

IMG_2895IMG_2878IMG_1320IMG_14782014… 

renewed faith… renewed strength – spiritual, emotional & physical… renewed relationships… love deeply even when it feels difficult… work hard and enjoy what I do… play more… laugh more… love more… live clean and healthy… pick up and dust off when I fall… rest when rest is needed… never share truth without grace… praise Him – even in the storms…

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A blessing for each of you as we begin a new year…

“And now may the courage of early morning’s dawning,
And the strength of eternal hills at noontime,
And the peace of open spaces at evening’s ending,
And the love of God abide in your hearts now and forever.” Amen.
                 – Harry K. Zeller, from the BRETHREN HYMNAL

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Grace · Healing · Health · Hope · Lessons Learned · life happens... · Prayers · Questions to Ponder · Seasons · Struggles · The Journey

When The Fog Rolls In…

Our journey as a Christ follower is never finished. We will be learning and growing until we take our last breath and graduate from this life into eternity. The older I get, the more excited about that I become.

On our journey, we hit milestones of growth along the way, Today was one of those for me. It was subtle, but strong.

Backing up a bit, it’s been the year of all years. Some good, but lots of bad and ugly. One of the most difficult years I’ve been through. Oh, over the years I’ve struggled and had some hardships along the way. Each time I felt God’s tender touch and grace guiding me through. I also worked hard to walk through it on my own, now truly understanding His place in my struggles.

It’s easy to celebrate and thank the Lord for the good. It’s easy to pray and ask Him for things that would make my life easier. I pray and pray and know that He will come through. I amp up my walk, believing that the more I do, the more He will hear and answer!

This past year has taken me down a different path. As we have trudged through some really tough times, I was able to begin to understand the idea of thanking Him… even in the storms. But then things would look up and I would go back to taking it on myself and working it out.

This summer I hit an all time low. I had the most difficult two weeks of my life. On my face, I cried out from the depths of my soul. I begged Him for help and healing. Then I began to praise Him as the storm raged around me.

When the fog finally lifted, I felt renewed in my faith and looked at Christ with different eyes. And alas, as time went on, I slowly took over taking care of business. All the while, working harder to make sure that He would always notice me, listen to me, hear me and then answer. In the depths of my soul, I felt that if I worked hard enough at loving Him and doing good for Him, that He would surely shelter me from the really big stuff.

Fast forward to this morning. I’m sitting in our Sunday service listening to my pastor preach his last sermon in his Epic Grace series.

He spoke of being in the fog. What do we do when the fog rolls in and envelopes us in hard times? I began to think about the past year. There seemed to have been more days of fog than usual. But it eventually rolled out and things cleared.

He spoke about letting go of the worry and fear around things that we can’t control. Life is going to happen. Hard times will fall on us. We’ve got to be okay in this moment because we don’t know what is around the corner. Why do we worry about things we don’t have control over?

Then he said something that hit me hard and was the moment of that shift for me. In so many words, poorly paraphrased, we will have hard times. We will have difficult times until the day when it will be made perfect. People struggle day in and day out. Some people have chronic illness and suffer daily. LIfe will be hard, but we will be made perfect when we leave this earth.

I know that the difficulties this past year are not the end. God has not given us our allotment and now we are good to go until we die. There will be struggles and most likely struggles greater than what we’ve already been through, but I get to choose how I respond.

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
…for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.
I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
(Philippians 4:4-9, 11-13NIV)

It finally made sense to me. Just because I’m a Christ-follower, does not mean exempt from hardship. And when I’m in the midst, He may not take it away from me. I may have fog that will envelop me for the remainder of my days on this earth. But the good news is that I have a Savior who loves me enough to give me strength when I need it and grace when I don’t have enough.

If you would like to read an amazing book about the epic grace available to you, check out http://www.kurtbubna.com/thebook. You won’t be disappointed!

www.kurtbubna.com/thebook

Christmas · Gifts · Grace · Gratitude Friday · Healing · Hope · Humor · Lessons Learned · life happens... · Prayers · Seasons · Struggles · The Journey

The Gifts of Advent…

Recently, I’ve been drawn into watching Christmas movies on the Hallmark channel.  I know what you are thinking… please don’t judge me!

Most of the movies portray Christmas in a very sweet, festive light…always with a happy ending. If you just watch one or two, it’s fine. If you watch more than that, you begin to see the “life is always a happy ending” message that Christmas movies 24/7 send. It’s like too much FB.  After a while, you begin to look at your own life and those around you in comparison to the movies. Most really don’t compare.

This past week I sat on a Child Study Team. Teachers come to talk about students who are really struggling and we discuss ways to help them and whether or not they need to be assessed for learning issues. Our latest meeting brought to the table four primary students. We began the discussions around their strengths and what they do well. Then we moved to their struggles, both emotionally and academically. By the end of our time together, it dawned on me, that while each of these four students struggle academically, their bigger issues were emotional. Each one comes from a home life that seems impacted by emotional and financial stress. They live in chaotic worlds. We brainstormed ways to support the students as well as their families. Our meeting ended with learning about a special needs student that lost his 8 month old sister while he was snuggling with her. She was wrapped up in blankets and suffocated. We all sat devastated. With heavy hearts we ended our meeting and headed home on that dark and cold December evening.

As I drove home, my heart was heavy. How can I help these kids and their families? What can I do to ease their pain and suffering? I’ve got my own stuff, but suddenly it didn’t seem very important. I was feeling hopeless about the current state of our families and the immense need so many of them have. Braving the quickly-dipping temperatures, I was forced to stop for gas. I was numb as I stood at the pump, willing the gas to fill my tank quickly. My mind was whirling with the images of these sweet kids that I have the privilege of working with each day. The tank filled and I grabbed my receipt. As I was getting settled in my warm car, the woman behind me honked and jumped out of her truck. She came to alert me that I had not put my gas cap back on or closed the little door. I’ve never done that! I thanked her over and over. What a warm blessing she was to me in that moment. My hope felt a bit more restored. I was able to see some goodness in what felt like such a dismal world around me.

This week has marked the beginning of the 2013 Advent Season. I began reading a wonderful book by Ann Voskamp called The Greatest Gift – Unwrapping the Full Love Story of Christmas. Each day she shares a small morsel of hope in what seems like a ever-declining world. Here are some excerpts from Days 1-6 along with photo’s of the ornaments from The Jesse Tree that Ann provides to compliment her Advent readings.

Day 1 – “There, here, in the midst of the inconceivable, the loud claims, the hard sells, the big spectacles, (*the hopeless feeling so many have) Christ comes small, the micro- macro-miracle who comes in the whisper and says, Seek Me. Just where you are, look for the small glimpses of God-glory breaking out, sprouting, shooting, unfurling, bearing fruit, making the shoot that bears witness to God – the hardly noticed child, the hymn hummed over the sink, the unassuming woman bent at the register, the dog-eared Word of God beckoning from the shelf.”

IMG_4001Day 2 – “This Christmas story… It begins with the always coming of Christ…No matter your story before, this is your beginning now; you were formed by Love… for love.”

IMG_4002Day 3 -“And your God, He’s coming now, everywhere, for you…God refuses to to give up on you.  Your God looks for you when you’re feeling lost, and your God seeks you out when you’re down, and your God calls for you when you feel cast aside.  He doesn’t run down the rebel.  He doesn’t strike down the sinner.  He doesn’t flog the failure.”

IMG_4003Day 4 – “How did we ever find ourselves with the gift of finding favor with God?  God, who hung the stars – He has taken a thread of His heart and tied it to yours.  And He didn’t need to, but God tied His heart to yours so when you feel pain, He fills with pain.”

IMG_4004Day 5 – “This is the gift that wraps up all stresses quiet: I will bless you. … But the weight of everything melts like thinning snow in the heart of His words: “I will bless you.”  He will not burden you.  He will not break you.  He will bless you – the God if invincible reliability, the God who has infinite resources, the God who is insistent love.  You can always go ahead and breathe – He will bless you.  You can always breathe when you know all is grace.”

IMG_4005Day 6 – “The gigantic secret gift that He gives and we unwrap, that we never stop unwrapping – we who were barren now graced with the Child who lets us laugh with relief for all eternity.  There is nothing left to want.  There is nothing left to fear: “All fear is but the notion that God’s love ends.” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts) And His for you never will.  So loosen up, because the chains have been loosed, and laugh the laughter of the freed.  Laughter – it’s all oxygenated grace.”

IMG_4006(Above are photo’s of ornaments from Ann Voskamp’s website – A Holy Experience – Jesse Tree – each coinciding with every day of Advent.)

So much hope each day in a few short pages of words.  I love that it’s not about bows and packages and stockings and lights and trees.  It’s about the Giver becoming the gift.

“The Giver becomes the Gift, this quiet offering.  This heart beating in the chest cavity of a held child, a thrumming heart beating hope, beating change, beating love, beating the singular song you’ve (*we’ve) been waiting for – that the whole dizzy planet’s been spinning round waiting for.  Waiting.   Advent… it means “coming.” (A. Voskamp, The Greatest Gift)

I don’t want the quiet stresses that seem to surface during the holidays to trump the gift of Jesus coming this Advent.  The waiting… I don’t want the waiting to be clouded with things that are not important.  I want to clearly see and breathe the grace and hope that is mine (ours) for the taking!  There is no greater gift…

IMG_4007* my thought inserted into her words from the book

Grace · Healing · Hope · Lessons Learned · life happens... · Prayers · Seasons · Struggles · The Journey

A New Day…

As I read back over my journal of the past few years, I came across a poem I wrote on May 9, 2012.
What a sweet gentle reminder…

With dawn comes a new day

With a new day comes new worries

With new worries comes a compounded list of new and old

With a new longer list of worries comes rising anxiety

STOP! Rewind!

With dawn comes a new day

With a new day comes renewed hope

With renewed hope comes renewed strength

With renewed strength comes a day of endless possibilities

A day of endless possibilities is a gift from heaven!

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Gifts · Healing · Hope · Lessons Learned · life happens... · Prayers · Questions to Ponder · Random Saturday · Seasons · Struggles · The Journey

365 Days of Thanksgiving…

We are fast approaching Thanksgiving and the end of November.  This is the month we are “thankful.”  Many of the devotionals I read lately have the underlying theme of thanksgiving woven through them.  FB is full of people’s 30 Days of Thanksgiving.

I began the 30 Day quest on November 1.  I was on a roll though the 12th.  Then life happened.  I suddenly didn’t feel thankful and certainly didn’t want to pretend and write something each day just because I had started and everyone else was doing it.

Today is the 23 and for the past 10 days I’ve struggled.  I’ve struggled with earthly issues.  I’ve wept and wrestled with God and prayed to continue to find joy amidst the things that are weighing me down.  The furthest thing from my mind was being thankful on FB.

Admitidly, I lost sight of being thankful.  It almost made me mad to read everyone’s thoughts each day. That is one of my greatest struggles with FB.  When I’m feeling down, other people’s lives seem to be “magnificant X100!”  This only leads to my wounds needing more licking and my struggles seeming greater than they are.

This morning I awoke early (because it’s Saturday and I can sleep in!).  I grabbed my morning coffee and headed upstairs to my little hideaway.  I began to pray and invite Jesus into my morning.

In today’s  Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, Jesus has invited me to sit quietly in His presence and let Him fill my heart and mind with thankfulness.  He encouraged me to look for the tiny treasures that He’s already layed out before me today.  I’m to look carefully and pluck them up one by one.  By the end of the day I’ll have a magnificant bouquet* for which I’m encouraged to offer up to Him with at grateful heart.

Moments after reading that, I could see out of the corner of my eye, the sun rising in the east.  I turned to look and this was the first gift of my day.IMG_3861Instantly, I knew what He wanted me to rest in… today and every day.

Hope. 

His hope. 

Hope for things seen and unseen. 

Hope for eternity. 

No matter the circumstances surrounding me each day, I have the gift of hope sitting at my feet.  For that I am thankful… every day.  I need to step out of the “November is the month to be thankful” box and live with that thanksgiving and gratitude every day.

* I heard a commercial on the radio the other day for a Thanksgiving bouquet on sale from a leading floral company.  It’s guaranteed to stay alive for two weeks AND it will bring you holiday memories!  Hmmm… I wonder what memories come packed in the box it arrives in?  Are they generic memories or can they be molded to each family? We are a little low on the memories this past year… maybe I should order one and see what we get!  It’s only $19.99!!!!!