Envy…

Envy… I know we are not supposed to feel this.  God’s Word gives us that direction… love does not envy.  We should be happy with what we’ve been given, right?  On paper and in my head I get it.  Lately, in reality… I’m struggling.

Social media is a wonderful thing!  We are able to stay connected with people.  We reconnect with ones from our past.  We even can stay connected with people very near us when busy schedules keep us from actually being together.  We can stay in touch with very little effort.

Social media, in all its wonderfulness, is also dangerous.  We know everything about everyone.  Sometimes we know too much about a person.  Most people tend to post the great and wonderful things happening in their lives.  Enter envy.

This weekend alone, I’ve read on FB about three different people that are going on really wonderful vacations!  I mean REALLY wonderful ones!  Another is getting married and the celebration is going to be grand!  Others are posting pictures of their new babies or exciting weekend adventures.

Some days things like this just roll off my back like water on a duck.  I’m happy and excited for them!  Other days, like today, envy has crept in and I’m sitting on a dangerous slope.

Suddenly, my life, which is wonderful and blessed, seems not so wonderful.  I’m coming off of a week that, professionally, sapped every bit of energy and umph right out of me.  I’m sitting in my kitchen with dishes from last night, laundry that is not taking care of itself, and looking out at my yard full of weeds and dandelions.  I’m not going on any grand vacation (or any vacation for that matter).  I don’t have any fabulous weekend plans, other than getting my hands dirty in the yard and setting up my summer patio.  There is nothing on the horizon that even remotely makes me feel excited.  I’m looking at 7 more weeks of a very intense job and lots of work to get our house and yard ready for summer.

Stop the madness!  I’ve let social media and extreme tiredness take me from a place of feeling extremely blessed and grateful for all that God has given me, to a place of jealousy and envy of what everyone else has or is doing… that I am not.  Paul was very wise in his day when he wrote 1 Corinthians 13.

If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere.  So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.  Love never gives up.  Love cares more for others than for itself.  Love doesn’t want what is doesn’t have… (there is my envy) …love trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back but keeps going to the end. (The Message)

If I’m always looking at what others have, then I’m surely missing the blessing of what I’ve got right in front of me.  Today, I’m going to choose to stay in my life and not yours.  I’m going to choose to love where I’m at and what I am doing… even it it does involve dirty laundry and dandelions!  My grand vacation is my journey today.  To all of my friends that are doing things other than domestic chores… please relax, rest, enjoy and have fun!  My “envy” really is joyous for you and I wish you much love!  I’ll send a postcard from my dandelion patch… fondly saying “scenery is beautiful, wish you were here!”