Journey to Find Me…

June 25, 2015 Thoughts and Reflections on Life3 Comments

For one year now I’ve been on a journey with a life-coach. Every three weeks we speak on the phone for 30 minutes. During that time we recap the previous three-week period and set some goals for the coming weeks.

Coaching is different from counseling. We don’t spend time hashing out all of my past and dirty laundry. We speak in the here and now with the goal of moving forward and growing.

At the beginning of this journey I was tasked with creating a vision/mission/purpose for my life… something I’ve never done. It was challenging. I’ve spent my entire life putting others first, never really thinking about what I wanted. Now it was time I became my number one priority.

My Vision/Purpose:
My life is a good/healthy balance between giving myself to others and taking time for me.
Giving myself to others encompasses my job/career (even doing work in the summer), personal time spent taking care of the people in my life (family, friends) and saying yes to things people ask of me.
Taking time for me encompasses doing things that nurture my passion, creativity and soul, and that are good for me.
Both of these involve surrounding myself with healthy people and being able to reach out and ask for help if needed.

The journey has been very positive and also challenging at the same time. Some conversations were easy to have and encouraging. Others, difficult and seemed to last forever. Occasionally I’d start out almost dreading our time and hang up refreshed and encouraged; ready to tackle a new day!

My coach is real and honest – something I really appreciate, even in the difficult conversations. She challenges me on many levels – spiritual, personal, emotional, relational and physical. She does not mince words or sugar-coat. She speaks with truth and asks hard questions, while at the same time encouraging and affirming the work I am doing. She challenges me with spiritual tasks as well as everyday practical tasks. She helps me balance the areas of my life that are unevenly weighted. We both pray before our sessions and God always shows up.

Mid-way through this past year, I did an analysis of “My Intentional Self.” I listed what was successful and what still needed time and work. To my surprise, I was far more successful than I thought I’d been with nurturing and growing my intentional self… ME! When I shared those things that I felt were in-progress, she gave me suggestions on how to carry on and see change. She gave me hope along the journey.

Winter into spring brought challenges that seemed daunting. She helped me see God in them and gave me hope and tools to press through them.

At that point I really couldn’t see the forest for the trees. The sessions seems to be getting harder. One night in March, I was feeling very flat and it seemed that I was falling into a hole of isolation. During our conversation she stopped and said with conviction,

“You are strong – really really strong!”

I was stopped in my tracks and totally taken aback. I am? Really?
I had moved so far into feeling tired and discouraged that I was missing monumental changes surfacing in me and my life. What a gift to receive on that cold March evening, for it was that strength and encouragement I needed to get through the last three months of school. For in those months, I operated more in keeping my head above water and surviving. I was extremely tired and that made for a more difficult journey.

So, here I am a year later. As I look back over the past year I am encouraged. I’m different. I’m stronger. I look at my life through a different lens than I had 12 months prior. A better, stronger, more positive lens. It’s one that says I matter… I’m worth it… I’m valued. It’s one that says “I can do this – no matter what difficulties are thrown my way.” I am stronger even though I’m exhausted and ready for a summer break to rest and rejuvenate.

I’m once again brought back to my vision and purpose. I’m not going to just survive… I’m going to thrive! My summer is filled with things I WANT to do, not just need to do. I’m taking ownership of what I value in my life, not what I think I should do or what I think people expect of me. At our session last night I set a reasonable goal for the next three weeks and I’m off! In the meantime, I’m going to take a nap… because it’s what I want to do!

Having someone to coach and guide and be that outside perspective is powerful. I have an accountability that pushes me, but is filled with grace. I wish for everyone to have that someone in their lives that can take them on a journey to find their purpose and live intentionally… one day at a time.

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Solitude…

April 18, 2015 Thoughts and Reflections on Life1 Comment

I am one who “needs” to be around others. Alone time for me has always been difficult. The first time I lived alone I was a mess. Growing up in a large family, there were always people around. For the past 28 years I’ve been in a profession where I am around 200+ people every day. Being alone has never been easy.

Going out in public alone used to terrify me. I was older than I’d like to admit when I finally went to the mall alone. I’ve only eaten in a restaurant alone a few times and it was fast food. Never would I go to a sit-down place alone. I have never been to a movie alone. That is on my bucket list!

Today I found myself home alone unexpectedly. Normally I’d lose myself in a book or movie… or maybe be productive and do some household chore. The weather today is absolutely gorgeous and I knew I had to get outside. Yard work did not appeal to me… although it would have been a good choice!

I decided to hop in my car and head to a local winery to scope out a photo shoot location for tomorrow. I headed to Arbor Crest with my camera in hand. It is very strange to be at a place and not know or talk to anyone. It was an hour of solitude and beauty. I wandered and shot and wandered and shot. I did run into my niece and her fiancé, but our visit was short and sweet. I continued on my way, relishing the quiet beauty and sunshine. There were several other people their alone with a glass of wine and a book. Hmmm… I might have to try that! That is very out of my comfort zone, but worth a try!

I’m learning that I need to be okay being alone. God has me in a season and I’m not sure what he is preparing me for, but I’m open to try new things and find another side of myself that I’ve not met yet. I felt great peace and solitude wandering in a beautiful place with my camera in my hand. Photography is becoming quite theraputic for me and I’m grateful for the opportunities I am afforded.

Here is a glimpse of what I saw from behind my camera lens…

28 Days · exercise · Grace · Health · Hope · Lessons Learned · life happens... · Prayers · Questions to Ponder · Seasons · Struggles · The Journey

It’s Not a Sprint…

February 16, 2015February 16, 2015 Thoughts and Reflections on LifeLeave a comment

As I continue down this path to better health, I’m learning more and more about myself each day. Today I ventured out on another walk by myself. I’m rather enjoying these solo treks as they give me time to breathe, process, let go, pray and just BE. I decided to head to the high school and walk the track on this sunny day, knowing the entire track would be in the bright sunshine! I have a routine. First I begin in lane one and each time I loop around I switch to another lane working my way to lane 8. Walking alone gives me “think time.”

Today I had a huge revelation about myself and why I chose to go to the track and not walk the neighborhoods. The track is predictable. I know where I am, where I’m going and how to get home. When I walk the neighborhoods, I am not always sure where I am. I get caught up in looking at yards and houses, allowing my mind to get distracted by those things. On the track, I don’t have to think about where I am or where I’m going. Being that this whole exercise thing is something I’m learning to like, it felt good to have a little control of the situation. I like things to be planned out and predictable. I wish I were more spontaneous and daring. I love the comfort of the track.

Today there were three high school girls there with a track coach. They were warming up and then moved to the other side of the track and were working on starts for their sprints. They were coming out of those starting blocks very quickly. I tried to steer clear of their work while still keeping to my 1-8 lane progression! As I watched them come up out of those blocks quickly, I realized something else about my journey. This journey is not a sprint. I can’t think that I can do everything fast and furious to get quick results. I did not get fat overnight and I won’t change overnight.

Today is Day 15 and I was very discouraged over the weekend. I don’t look different at all. I feel better, but nothing has changed as far as my body. Another mindset that I need to let go of. Just because I have done good things for a few weeks does not mean I’m good to go and a changed woman! Past failures can be linked to this very mindset flaw. I’m in this for the long haul, not for a short sprint. I am changing old habits and old belief systems. First and foremost, my goal is better health so I can live my remaining days on this earth active and able to fulfill God’s calling on my life. I want to feel good each day as I get out of bed and have energy to attack the day! I want to be fit for the day when we have grandchildren! It is not going to happen overnight. It’s a daily decision I make to love myself enough to make good choices and afford myself the time to take care of ME.

My initial goal was February. I can do anything for 28 days. After that I was not sure what I would do, because deep down I thought that in those 28 days my life would be transformed and I would be “normal.” I’m still looking to the end of February to celebrate the initial goal I set, but I know that I like this and want to continue into the rest of my days! I’ve now set another goal for my 52nd birthday and I honestly think I can get there! Funny thing about it is that it’s going to take time and energy and work… all things that I have to do. No one can do them for me. I have to love myself enough to make it work! My biggest supporter, God, has assured me that He will never let go of me or my dream. Together… we’ve got this!

So, today I celebrate 14 days of healthy eating and close to 20 miles of walking! It feels great! I’m encouraged! I hope you are encouraged if you need that today. If I can do this… so can you! If you are doubting that you can make changes in an area of your life, invite God to join you and love yourself enough to try it today! One foot in front of the other!

Healing · Health · Hope · Lessons Learned · life happens... · Prayers · Questions to Ponder · Seasons · Struggles · The Journey

Too Much Information…

April 10, 2014 Thoughts and Reflections on Life5 Comments

Do you ever feel like you know too much? Overwhelmed with health and wellness advice? Hearing in the news what’s good for you and what’s not? Hear about the side effects of medication made to help you? Read about the latest and greatest way to eat?

At this juncture in my life I feel overwhelmed by too much information. I have been on a wellness journey for the past 3+ years. It involves regular visits to an amazing chiropractor who is helping me with my overall health and wellness. Along with that, I regularly get my feet zoned.

“Footzonology is a method that utilizes the signal system in the feet. By utliizing the signals system in the feet it helps to rejuvenate, balance, restore and detoxify the emotional, mental, physical and spiritual body. Allowing and assisting your body to heal itself on its own.”

http://www.naturalfeetfootzonology.com

My wellness journey has been amazing and life-changing. My overall health is much stronger and I’m making changes that will last a life-time. Am I there yet? No. Am I getting there? Yes!

Both of my “wellness coaches” have filled me with information. Diet, food choices, supplements, essential oils, dry brushing, organic products. The list goes on and on and on. At times my head swims with all they share. How can I do it all? How can I afford it? How can I NOT afford it?

We’ve discussed wellness vs the American Health Care System. I have GP who loves to send me home with samples of medication to try. She works hard to find reasons to treat me. That is her lively-hood. After a year or so of my wellness journey, she was finding it more and more difficult to treat me for anything. After referring me for a blood work up, she told me that after the results were in I can come back in and she would get me going on a regime. I was showing markers for heart disease and she wanted to start me on a dose of medication to cure that. Well, after the results came back, all she could find was that my Vitamin B was low and she suggested a shot! Needless to say, I did not leave her office that day with a brown bag of samples and a stack of handouts with medical advice.

So, I’m back to being filled with too much information. At times it seems easier to just throw in the towel and go back to the way it used to be. Don’t think about what I’m putting into my mouth! Skip the daily routines that strengthen my health and well-being. Forget finding organic food sources. Processed is cheaper and easier. Coffee and pop are much more satisfying that water (so I used to think anyway!).

I’m slowly learning that I don’t have to do everything I hear about. I need to slow down and listen to my body. I’ve learned to do my own muscle testing to see if I really need a particular supplement on any given day. If there is not a need then I don’t take it. Amazingly enough, our body can get too much of even the good stuff.

I’ve learned the importance of emotional and spiritual health. If those are out of balance, then the physical health tips as well. In the past 3 years, I’ve gone from taking various medications for depression, anxiety and sleep issues to taking NOTHING! Zip! Zero! Medication free!

Another health and wellness journey I’ve been on is taking Redox Signaling molecules (ASEA) each day, thanks to another wellness coach in my life.

“Redox Signaling molecules are created within every cell of the body and are vital to the immune system and to cellular healing mechanisms. They are so essential to life that without them, you would die within seconds. A proper supple of Redox Signaling molecules enables cellular healing: damaged, dysfunctional cells fading away and healthy, vibrant cells taking over. They are vital for the health of our cells; that’s why our body makes its own supply. But after the age of 12, our cells make fewer and fewer of these molecules. The is the first and only source of balanced stabilized Redox signaling molecules outside of the body. It is completely native to the body. Proven to be completely safe, with zero toxicity.”

http://www.jennylynch.myasealive.com

While this journey is a newer part of my wellness trek, I have seen amazing results. No more medication to sleep. Overall energy level much greater. Mental clarity! I not only drink 4 oz each day, but I spray it on everything! Amazing healing qualities! I made it through this very rough winter flu season without getting sick! I’m seeing miraculous healing in friends that have been plagued with health issues their entire lives. Athletes are using it! It’s God-made, not man-made.

As I wander on this health and wellness journey, I’m again reminded that my amazing Father in heaven is right there with me. I’m not sure why it’s taken me so long to learn that He is in every corner of my life… including my health. I’ve compartmentalized Him into the spiritual things, not the “more worldly” parts. I’m discovering that my body does not really belong to me! It’s on loan while I’m alive. I’ve got to take care of it. It’s His temple that I’m temporarily living in. What I invest into my life directly effects my rental property!

I don’t know how may days I will walk on this earth. What I do know is that I want to be obedient to Him who created me. I don’t want to leave Him out of any part of my life… something I’ve done in the past. It’s quite simple really. When I feel like I have too much information and don’t know what to do, I can quietly sit before my Father and He will show me which path to walk along. This is a truth that I’ve known and used in other areas of my life, but never my wellness. Yes, I’m a slow learner! He’s blessed me with these amazing resources and I want to use them for His glory and my health! If God can grow flowers out of rocks, then He can certainly help me strengthen and heal my body, as well as use me to help others!

Gifts · Grace · Hope · Lessons Learned · life happens... · Questions to Ponder · Seasons · Struggles · The Journey · Uncategorized

Boldness…

January 5, 2014January 12, 2014 Thoughts and Reflections on LifeLeave a comment

I have chosen words to describe the kind of year I want 2014 to be. One of those words is boldness. Boldness is defined as the trait of being willing to undertake things that involve risk or danger.

Application to my life would include risk more than danger. I tend to be one that does not take risks, especially when I am alone. I rarely do things alone. I’ve only eaten in a restaurant alone one time. It was a matter of eat alone or starve. I’ve never gone to a movie alone. I was well into my 30’s before I would go to the mall alone. To this day is it not my favorite thing to do. I’ve never gotten in my car and gone for a drive to explore… alone. I’m not known for being adventurous. At the age of 30 I was forced to live alone for the first time. That was a huge adjustment.

Bottom line… I’m not a very big risk taker. I think about things I’d like to do and then never end up doing them. This past year I figured out that thinking about doing something is not the same as actually doing it. I have a small list of regrets of things I did not do during my 20 years in CA. I thought about them, but never acted on them.

So this brings me to last Friday. For the past 8 weeks, I have wanted to head to Gonzaga University campus to photograph the amazingly beautiful St. Al’s Catholic Church. One Monday evening on my way home, I was crying out to God about some difficult things we were going through. I was praying for peace and answers and comfort. As I turned the corner onto Mission, there off to my right were these two crosses lit up and beautiful. They were atop steeples. I had never seen them… and this is a route I take to and from work. Immediately, I felt a peace fall over me. It’s as if God put them up there just for me… and just the right moment.

Several days later I was driving the same route just as the sun was going down. As I turned the same corner, the two crosses were gleaming in the setting sunlight. It was breath-taking. My first thought was that I needed to photograph those crosses atop the church. Unfortunately, I was heading to an appointment and was not able to stop. I promised myself that I’d take my good camera and photograph them at sunset.

I spent the next few weeks thinking about it as I passed them each day. I even made several attempts to get there in the afternoon setting sun, but something always came up. While I wanted to do this in the worst way, my lack of boldness to step out into an adventure on my own got in the way.

Last Friday I was heading home after an appointment and had a bit of extra time. As I was driving down Mission I suddenly had a very strong urge to just do it! I turned around, made my way to the campus and found a parking spot. Out into the chilly wind I went with my iPhone! No fancy camera, just my trusty phone. This whole adventure took about 5 minutes! There was only so much I could do with my iPhone.

The conditions were not exactly as I’d hoped. The sky was cloudy. It was 11:00 AM, not sunset. I did not have my good camera.

But alas, I’d followed through with something that I’d longed to do! While this was really just a baby step, it was huge! It was bold for me to venture out on my own. Like I said… baby steps. Now I know I can do this all by myself! Alright… stop laughing! Everyone has to start out small! It’s rather a challenge to myself now to do something a little more daring!

Too much of life is passing me by as I sit back in my safe world… not taking risks.

Since my little (and I emphasize little) outing on Friday, I’ve been thinking about other areas of my life that lack boldness.

It does not seem to be too much of an issue in my professional life. I step out and do things with nary a thought.

Lately, I’ve been asking God for more boldness in my faith. If I can step out and confidently share my professional knowledge with people, why can’t I share my heart for Jesus with people.

I’ve also boldly been asking God to change me… use me… break my heart for things that breaks His. Boldly. With a passion I’ve never had before. To speak boldly into lives of those around me.

I’m not sure where this sudden urge to walk and talk and live in a boldness like never before has come from. Perhaps He’s preparing me for something that is going to require me to be very bold… to act in boldness. Maybe something where my boldness is key to my survival. I really don’t know.

What I do know is that this boldness is new and empowering. I’m excited for the coming days, weeks and months. I’m looking forward to the places my new found boldness will take me.

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