Solitude…

April 18, 2015 Thoughts and Reflections on Life1 Comment

I am one who “needs” to be around others. Alone time for me has always been difficult. The first time I lived alone I was a mess. Growing up in a large family, there were always people around. For the past 28 years I’ve been in a profession where I am around 200+ people every day. Being alone has never been easy.

Going out in public alone used to terrify me. I was older than I’d like to admit when I finally went to the mall alone. I’ve only eaten in a restaurant alone a few times and it was fast food. Never would I go to a sit-down place alone. I have never been to a movie alone. That is on my bucket list!

Today I found myself home alone unexpectedly. Normally I’d lose myself in a book or movie… or maybe be productive and do some household chore. The weather today is absolutely gorgeous and I knew I had to get outside. Yard work did not appeal to me… although it would have been a good choice!

I decided to hop in my car and head to a local winery to scope out a photo shoot location for tomorrow. I headed to Arbor Crest with my camera in hand. It is very strange to be at a place and not know or talk to anyone. It was an hour of solitude and beauty. I wandered and shot and wandered and shot. I did run into my niece and her fiancé, but our visit was short and sweet. I continued on my way, relishing the quiet beauty and sunshine. There were several other people their alone with a glass of wine and a book. Hmmm… I might have to try that! That is very out of my comfort zone, but worth a try!

I’m learning that I need to be okay being alone. God has me in a season and I’m not sure what he is preparing me for, but I’m open to try new things and find another side of myself that I’ve not met yet. I felt great peace and solitude wandering in a beautiful place with my camera in my hand. Photography is becoming quite theraputic for me and I’m grateful for the opportunities I am afforded.

Here is a glimpse of what I saw from behind my camera lens…

Until Now…

March 30, 2014 Thoughts and Reflections on Life3 Comments

Where to begin? I love to write! Writing is my escape. I communicate best in words on paper. I’ve blogged for six years. I never seem to be at a loss for words. Until now…

My recent participation at a Christian Writers Conference opened up new doors of adventure… and challenge… and excitement. Until I came home…

Several times I’ve sat down to write. I’ve got nothin’. It’s as if writing has never been a passion or a gift. What is causing this block? Why am I suddenly dry? I long to take advantage of the information gathered at the conference and play off of the excitement of the other writers with whom I spent two days.

Today as I was editing photographs from yesterday’s shoot, it hit me. God kicked my writing up a notch and invited others into my writing world.

Blogging involves other people, but they are not present. I write and it goes out into the cyber world. After posting I never really know if anyone reads the words I’ve poured out on the page. Occasionally I get a comment, but it’s always encouraging words regarding the content of my piece. No one critiques my writing. There is a measure of safety. Until now…

My new writing adventure involves a small group of women gathering once a month for a “writers group.” It involves sending writing out a week ahead so each one can read my piece and critique it. Then we will gather and share our critiques. Today I’m wondering what I’ve gotten myself in to.

I’m a pretty transparent person; wearing my heart on my shirt sleeve. Why am I nervous about letting others read my writing and give feedback? I’m not writing a book. I don’t have a manuscript I’ve been working on. I have some blog entries. That’s it. Suddenly I feel like I’ve got to write something with more depth and a greater vision. I’ve always considered myself a fairly good writer. Until now…

How ironic that my first piece to submit to the group is about how insecure I feel as I embark on this new journey. Fear and trepidation are looming. That little voice in my head is saying to run and never look back. Pursue other passions. Leave the writing to those called to be real authors.

I have no idea where this new adventure will lead me. I’m determined to not let my insecurity and fear win. I’m hopeful that I will be stretched…and challenged…and encouraged. I’m excited to begin to fashion a vision greater than my blog and see it grow into something bigger that I could ever imagine; for I’ve never really had one. Until now…

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Bucket List…

March 23, 2014 Thoughts and Reflections on LifeLeave a comment

Do you have a bucket list? It seems to be what everybody is talking about… in the 40+ generation anyway. I don’t have an official list. I’ve been too busy living in the here and now, to think about what I want to do before I die. Now that I’m 50, I’m slowing down a bit to think about what I actually would like to do.

For years… before I knew what a bucket list was, I’ve wanted to write a book. I’ve merely just made that general statement. Eventually I narrowed it down to possibly a memoir. Writing about real-life things that have happened to me is where my pen usually lands. Not that I’ve led an exciting life, but to make stuff up about characters I’ve created does not seem in my creative realm.

Recently I resurrected my “bucket list” and decided to step out and attend a writer’s conference. I went in with absolutely no expectation. I figured I’d meet a few authors and hear about how they got started. That’s it.

Little did I know that the two days I would spend at the Inland Northwest Christian Writers Conference would change my life.

I came with my new notebook, pen and highlighter! I was ready! Ready for what? I had no idea!

The opening Keynote speaker began talking about bringing God into your writing. What?

Pray about what He wants me to write about? Pray about how He wants me to write and what He wants me to accomplish? I’ve been a Christ-follower for almost 30 years and this was completely new to me. Writing has been something I’ve done on my own. “I’ve got this one handled, Lord! You worry about the things that need help in my life, not the things I’m confident with.”

Suddenly this experience with no expectation had fresh expectation and a longing began.

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10

I’ve known that God gave me the love of writing. I’ve known that much of what I write is faith-based and God is usually the culminating thought. I’ve known that I want my writing to be meaningful to the person reading it. The thought of bringing God into this intimate part of my life gives me a greater hope that this dream I have will be even better.

My blank expectation of my gifting began to take shape. I listened and wrote with a fresh vision, longing and desire.

Over the course of the two days I was able to begin to form a vision… establish a possible starting place. My mind is full. My heart is swelling with excitement that I can write alongside my Jesus and He will give me encouragement, vision and direction. I’ve also realized the importance of surrounding myself with a community of writers.

For both of these, I’m excited, nervous and hopeful! At the moment, my thoughts and vision are blurred, but I can see a light beginning to gleam in the distance and a direction beginning to become more clear… I think!

Who knows where God might take me or what kind of writing He may put on my heart! But, I’m open to be surprised, challenged and blessed beyond measure along this journey!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11