The Battle Belongs to Him…

February 5, 2017 Thoughts and Reflections on LifeLeave a comment

Life feels hard right now. Nationwide, people are angry. People are afraid. People are confused. The next four years feel very unsettled. Social media has exploded with all of these feelings and emotions pouring out everyday. I’ve tried hard not to let myself get too caught up in emotion.

Then there is the next layer of heartache.

For some life is hard right now because of very personal battles they are fighting. Their own battles or battles of loved ones. Some are being fought and some battles have been lost. Some are in limbo… waiting. Illness, relationships, death.

These past few weeks I’ve found myself standing in the gap on behalf of many… most I know and a handful I don’t know but have committed to pray for them. I asked God to break my heart for the things that break His. He came through. Daily I’m on my knees interceding for friends and loved ones and strangers… calling on Jesus to bring each one of these precious people just what they need at just the right moment. Peace. Comfort. Healing. Strength. Closure. Grace. Hope. Tears. Laughter. Memories.

At times I’ve felt so helpless, wishing I could do more. Wishing I could be there to give them a hug or sit and listen. I’ve prayed for them to be able to praise the heavens amidst the storm. I’ve prayed for their memories of their loved one to be sweet and comforting. I’ve prayed for healing. I’ve prayed for the stakeholders in the lives of the suffering, for those people also feel the affects of the heartache. Many times all I can do is pray for God’s will in the situation.

As I’ve been interceding on behalf of others, I’ve been reminded of the battles I’ve fought over the years. Difficult battles. Life-changing battles. Lost battles. Battles of loss.

A few of those battles felt as if I’d never recover. Life would never be the same. I would never have joy again. For when I am in the middle of a battle it is easy to lose sight of the other side. I forget that it is being fought by the greatest Warrior of all.

The battle is already won. Is it the outcome I want? Perhaps not. But the God of Hope will be our warrior and bring us the peace and comfort needed to sustain us as we venture on this earthly journey. The older I get and the more battles I see, the more excited I get for eternity. For this life is temporary and heaven is eternal. One day none of this will matter.

But in the meantime… we need to hold on to the hope of Christ. No matter if our struggles and fears are for the state of our nation or closer to home… there is hope and the battle belongs to the Lord.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Jeremiah 29:11

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2016… What a Year!

December 31, 2016 Thoughts and Reflections on LifeLeave a comment

2016… oh what a year! It’s one that will go down in history for so many reasons. I’ve managed to NOT let the stress of things of the world get me down. I’ve felt sad about the losses of well-known people who have passed away… people I’ve grown up with. I’ve managed to keep my emotions out of the presidential election. All I can do is pray for the days to come. I have no control of the worldly events of the past year.

All I can really control is the events of my life… and even those are not always controllable. I can think about the past year but can’t change a thing that has already happened. The story is written and published. All I can do it reflect on the words on each page, take what I can that will propel me positively into the new year and then close the book, placing it carefully on the shelf with the other 53 books.

2016 was a year. A year of hard work, new relationships, loss, struggle, new memories, career challenges, laughter, tears, loving, choosing to love, growth, new beginnings, dreams lost and dreams being realized…

There are some definite things I can take away from 2016. While I’d like to take away only the positive, I realize that it’s some of the tough things that will change me and motivate me in the coming year.

Here are my take-aways from 2016:

I have infinite worth! Enough said!

I am the only one that can determine how my day will unfold. It’s not the responsibility of my husband, friends or co-workers… it’s mine. I choose my attitude towards the day.

If I don’t include God in my day things tend to go south. Unfortunately I’ve allowed this to happen one too many times.

Everyday is a gift – wrapped with a beautiful bow. I get to choose how I open it and what I do with it. Some gifts can be large and fancy, while others might be little and seemingly unimportant. It’s up to me to look at each gift and cherish what it brings… not wishing and hoping for more or different. Gifts are all around us and sometimes we miss them. It’s the tiniest things that can bring the greatest joy!

Just when you think you’ve loved something so much and losing it will leave you empty forever… think again! Be bold and risk loving again!

Two kittens are better than one! Just saying!

As we move into 2017, my prayer for everyone is that we will all believe in our infinite worth and value. I pray our lives will reflect that. For me that means taking better care of myself… believing that I’m worth investing in. Even when that investment is difficult but necessary. I pray we all have others in our lives to share the journey. I pray that we can all do the two simple things that God asks of us… love God and love people. This feels more important than ever with the coming months and changes in our nation.

May 2017 bring abundant love, grace and passion in each of our lives. I leave you with this prayer.

“And now may the courage of early morning’s dawning,

And the strength of eternal hills at noontime,

And the peace of open spaces at evening’s ending,

And the love of God abide in your hearts now and forever.” Amen.

– Harry K. Zeller, from the BRETHREN HYMNAL

Healing · life happens... · Prayers · Questions to Ponder · Seasons · Struggles · The Journey

So Why the Yellow Towel?

April 13, 2014 Thoughts and Reflections on Life1 Comment

I took it from the rag pile. A small butter yellow bath hand towel. Faded from years of use and occasional bleaching. The edges were tattered. It would be perfect to wipe down the newly cleaned bathroom fixtures.

I walked into the bathroom and laid the yellow towel on the counter. Suddenly the memories came flooding back. A strong wave of emotion came over me. It was 1997 and I was in my house on Butterscotch Lane.

As clear as day, I remembered all of the towels we received as wedding gifts. Our towel colors were dark blue, butter yellow, and white. The yellow were my favorites. I kept those out for my bathroom.

By this point I’m a puddle and can’t even think about cleaning. I’m transported back in time. I am newly married and setting up house. Everything was new. I am beginning my forever life with the man I married. The man with whom I’d grow old.

It seems like just yesterday that I was a blushing bride walking down the path to say my vows at the beautiful Apple Farm. At that moment in time, everything seemed perfect. August 2, 1997.

I’m standing in the bathroom with this damn yellow towel and felt the urge to do the math. I was married for the first time 16+ years ago. Sixteen years????? Where has time gone? It was just yesterday. I was 34 and had the rest of my life ahead of me.

Another story for another day, but by 2006 I was packing up those yellow towels and moving back home… without my husband. He decided he’d rather do life alone. So, off I go to begin again and start over. In tow were a few things from that eight year journey.

Today I’m happily married to a man I fell in love with many, many years ago. It’s been nine years since my divorce. Plenty of time to get over it and leave it behind. Slowly, the things that came north with me have gotten broken or given away. The latest was the last of my crystal ice tea glasses. While it was only a glass, there were memories behind it. Needless to say, I had a small moment of emotion over that one.

So why the yellow towel? What did it trigger that brought emotions up so fresh and raw? How can a simple towel take me back in time? Then the questions start… Why? What if? Do I have regrets? Will I ever truly be over him? If a stupid towel takes me down, imagine if I were to see him in person? Would I be strong enough?

Emotions are crazy. Memories are powerful. Feelings are deep. Those three together can really reek some havoc. I guess today I needed to stop and process a bit more of something from my past. While I don’t live in the past, it still creeps up. So my little yellow towel, not only will wipe clean the bathroom, but will help me wipe clean a trail of emotions and memories that need to be sorted through, weeded out, and left behind… one more time.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and now to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

God’s got my heart right where He wants it. Currently, it’s nestled in the middle of an old yellow hand towel. I have to be willing and open to let Him use simple things like a tattered old towel to grow and change and heal me. No one ever said it would be easy.